A Player's Guide for Keeping Worship Leaders in Line

If there were a basic training manual for Worship members, it might include ways to practice not only worship music, but prophetic one-upmanship. It seems as if many young players take pride in prophesying on their instruments while the Worship leader is starting a new song. The following rules are intended as a guide to the development of habits that will irritate the Worship Leader. (Variations and additional methods depend upon the imagination and skill of the player.)

1. Never be satisfied with the your instruments tunedness. Always tune... even in the middle of "waiting times"... or when the Worship leader looks back at you to indicate silence.... just tune again 3 or 4 times to absolutely frustrate him.
2. When, and if you use music stands, make sure that the music spills off (or is blown off by a fan) so that you draw attention to your plight of having to pick up the music during a particularly intimate song.
3. Complain about the temperature of the Sanctuary... better yet, bring a 20" box fan and place it right in line with the mics.
4. Watch the worship leader for his cues... then give your own to the rest of the team a half note behind the worship leader and in a different tempo.
5. Never have a spare set of strings, or extra drum sticks.... if need be, play that guitar out of tune with 3 strings... and beat on those drums with your fists. Tell the Worship leader that this is "cool",  hasn't he heard the latest "David Ruis" or "Kevin Prosch" Album... tell him it adds texture to the feel of the music.
6. Begin moving someone else's equipment, and placing yours in that position, 3 minutes before Worship is set to start and tell the Worship Leader that you need to be at that place in order to flow with the Spirit and hear yourself. Give the impression you're about to quit... in fact let the Worship leader live with the reality that you are always about to quit and he'd better realize this is a profound favor you are doing for him.
7. Always jam while the Worship leader is trying to pray or speak to the worship team. When he stops to get your attention... say "What? Are you getting religious on us now?"
8. When tuning during Worship sets, make sure your volume is on full, and that you play out of sync with everybody....
9. Between songs, walk up to the Worship leader and ask him if you played the last song correctly....  To encourage him, tell him (loud enough to go into his mic) that he is the most awesome, anointed worship leader you have ever played with!
10. At dramatic moments in the climactic Worship songs, stop playing... look at your amp, like something is wrong. Begin waving at the sound man that you can't hear anything.... this so that the climaxes will sound empty and disappointing and this will also totally confuse the rest of the people playing.
11. Wait until after worship starts to run to the file cabinet to get a song you don't have... make sure people see you waving it as you come back in.
12. When cued for a start or finish in the song.... Just look at the Worship leader with a quizzical, disbelieving face.
13. Tell the Worship leader he is way off time, repeatedly... challenge it frequently.
14. Ask the Worship Leader if he has heard the way David Ruis, or Kevin Prosch has played a song (cause neither of them ever do it the same way twice) ... he might say yes... ask him what album... and mention a different album. Tell him that the album you heard him on was much more anointed, and maybe he shouldn't do that song this morning until he hears the other version.
15. When practicing a difficult part  screw up your face and shake your head indicating that  you'll never be able to play it. Don't say anything: make him wonder. ... then cough real loud right prior to having to play it during worship.
16. Ask the Worship leader what your part is right as he is about to open with prayer or a song.
17. Find an excuse to leave practice about 15 minutes early so that others will become restless and start to pack up and fidget.
18. Vanish right prior to a much needed crescendo. Don't worry... the Worship leader will notice... will turn around to see where you've gone.... and you can indicate from offstage that you just couldn't hold it any longer. Sorry.

DNYNA Steyne is a contributing editor. He has had all of these things occur to him during worship times... ain't that beautiful. His degrees are more associated with temperature rises when these things occur... although heavily experienced in the art of leading worship with humans who can be absolutely frustrating at times... and most assuredly always a riot to work with. He is simply hoping for a grant from the Yamaha Foundation of Tokyo.

DNYNA Steyne can often be found on the Worship List brutalizing us all with his endless humor.  [[editor-in-chief: K.Gentes]

Contact Information

E-mail  Danny Steyne at DGSteyne@yahoo.com